F.A.Q.s

Freely Intimate is not relationship counseling or coaching. It’s also not a place where we’ll look at “what’s wrong” with ourselves or our partners. We’re working from the premise of “everything is as it should be” and asking, “How does it get better than this?” - not because anything needs to be fixed, but for the joy of exploring transformation together.

While we will work to create a tightly held, safe environment, we would like to be fully transparent that Freely Intimate is not trauma-informed care. We are committed to holding a safe, confidential and judgement-free space, but this is probably not a recommended container for people who have deep, unintegrated or unprocessed trauma around intimacy. That’s not to say you need to show up without trauma to participate. In modern society, we all have a lot of conditioning and experiences to unpack around intimacy. This container may stir up big emotions. If you are healing from intimacy or sexual trauma, we trust you to decide if Freely Intimate is for you at this time.

Freely Intimate is not a course or class, and we do not claim to hold the answers for you. While our deepest intention is to support you in deepening intimacy and growth as a couple and individuals, we believe that the only person who knows what will work for you, is you. We aim to provide a space for inquiry, reflection, and, hopefully, inspiration, rather than a list of do’s, don’ts, tips or tricks. We’ll share our own experiences, and the language and frameworks we use because they’ve been incredibly valuable to us. You can take them, leave them, or create your own. The primary offering of Freely Intimate is to see more clearly our own patterns in intimacy and where they’re in conflict with our desires. We’re happy to answer questions about what works for us, and we believe true freedom in intimacy comes through personal exploration, not a prescribed program. Freely Intimate is not a place where you’ll learn about love languages, other relationship “hacks,” or how often you should or should not do anything.

Freely Intimate is not a space where you’ll hear requests or reinforcement that couples necessarily need to stay together. If that’s a major part of your current framework, this may be a challenging container. The container is deeply supportive of increasing intimacy and connection, but not for the sake of doing so or in an effort to reinforce a structure that isn’t working for one or both partners.

From the framework of our own relationship Abbey & Ryland (who are married - or unmarried if you will) will be delighted if their intimate partnership continues and remains as fruitful and rewarding until the end of our lives. Also, we are not judging the success of our relationship on its length or continuation. We don’t believe you need to build intimacy for the sake of your partnership/marriage. We focus on building intimacy because it’s been an incredible source of happiness, transformation, and growth for both of us as individuals. We don’t have to deepen intimacy. We certainly don’t have to do it for ‘the kids’. We do it because it’s fascinating, fun, enriching, and valuable to us in our journeys through this life.